Bisexual people are attracted to similar qualities that straight or gay people find attractive.
Some research has found that bisexual people are more likely to be sexually curious.
Another study found that bisexual men prefer traits like height in men and a small waist in women.
About 4% of Americans identify as bisexual, which means they are attracted to more than one gender.
That’s according to a 2021 survey, and it’s up from just 1% in 2010.
There is limited research on what bisexual people find attractive.
However, the qualities that bi people are attracted to are likely similar to the traits that straight or gay people are attracted to, Joni Ogle, a certified sex addiction counselor who has worked with bi people and is CEO, told Insider. of Heights Treatment Center.
“The only difference is that for most straight or gay people, their attraction is gender-based, which means they’re aware that they’re attracted to a particular gender,” said Cay Crowe, a certified sex therapist with Orchid. Toys who works with people across the spectrum of sexuality. .
“For bisexuals, their attraction isn’t necessarily gender-based.”
Here are the qualities that Crowe, Ogle, and limited studies suggest bisexuals are most attracted to.
People who are curious and unafraid of intimate conversations
People who are innately curious about others are more likely to have intimate conversations, even with strangers.
Some research has also shown that bisexual men and women report greater sexual curiosity than heterosexual or homosexual people.
“Bisexual individuals might value the ability to connect with someone on a deeper level and appreciate those who can relate to their experiences,” Ogle said.
Have an open mind and accept different sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions
Openness to experience is one of the big five personality traits that psychologists often study.
A study among heterosexual Chinese couples found that openness can lead to better relationships and that people who are more open are more likely to interact with different groups of people.
Many bisexual people face bisexual erasure, the prejudice that questions or denies that bisexual people really exist. So while there isn’t necessarily research to confirm that bisexual people find openness attractive, it’s probably safe to suggest that open-mindedness may be especially important to them, Ogle said.
“This could include acceptance of different sexual orientations, gender identities and expressions,” she said.
Someone who is confident and sure of their identity
Research on heterosexual people has shown that confidence is highly attractive in both men and women, but this almost certainly holds true for bisexual people as well.
This is because self-confidence is linked to the overall well-being of LGBTQ+ people, especially bisexual people, who may have more difficulty with sexual self-acceptance than straight or gay people.
“Someone who is confident in their identity may be more attractive to a bisexual person because of their self-confidence,” Ogle said.
Those with a sense of humor, but what kind of humor matters
Unsurprisingly, humor is attractive, but the kind of jokes you make, as well as your attachment style, matter.
Overall, positive, self-congratulatory humor is seen as more appealing than self-deprecating humor. After all, people love self-confidence.
However, one study found that those with an insecure attachment style were more attracted to negative, self-deprecating humor than more positive humor.
While nearly everyone may enjoy some form of humor and find it appealing, the type of humor you gravitate towards may have more to do with your attachment style than your sexuality.
Be very smart
Whether a person is looking for a short-term or long-term partner, research on heterosexual couples has found that intelligence is often viewed as an attractive quality in both men and women.
Additionally, some bisexual people also identify as sapiosexual, i.e. attracted to high intelligence (although other sapiosexual people may be straight, gay, or other orientations).
Physical traits such as height in men and large breasts in women
The looks, smells, and even sounds your partner makes play a huge part in attraction.
In short, most people want to be with someone they’re physically attracted to, and bisexual people are no different.
Research involving bisexual men has found that they are attracted to qualities stereotypically seen as attractive in men and women. And those qualities differ according to the gender of the person considered.
For example, a bisexual person may be attracted to tall or masculine-looking men and women with small waists and larger breasts.
“Some bisexual people may find themselves attracted to different traits in men than women,” Ogle said.
Others may find that they are physically attracted to the same type of look (male, female, androgynous, or otherwise) regardless of the person’s gender.
Marching to the beat of your own drum and ignoring social norms
The stereotype says that men prefer submissive or compliant women, while women prefer non-compliant men. But research on heterosexual couples has found that both men and women prefer a partner who marches to the beat of their own drum.
There’s no bisexual equivalent to this research, but Ogle said people who embrace their differences may be more attractive to bisexual people, who want a partner who’s okay with a little nonconformity.
“Knowing that their partner will accept them, regardless of their identity, can give bisexual people the confidence to be open about themselves and build a supportive and trusting relationship,” she said.
Someone who shares your core beliefs
Whether we’re looking for a casual fling or to build a life together, most of us want partners to have fun with and talk about our passions.
“People are drawn to those individuals with whom they have common interests, values and beliefs,” Crowe said.
Like others, bisexual people are more likely to be attracted to people who share their love of rescue animals, cliff jumping, or whatever hobbies and values set your heart racing.
Willing to be romantic and connect on a deeper level
Bisexual people, just like other people, want emotionally rich and fulfilling relationships, not just sex. So it’s no surprise that they are drawn to romance.
One study (in which males rated female attractiveness and vice versa, regardless of orientation) found that romantic connection is an important quality in both men and women.
Romance means different things to different people: maybe it’s petals on the bed, a candlelit dinner, or just taking the kids out so you can have some time to yourself.
Whatever your particular type of romance is, it’s important to feeling fulfilled in both short-term and long-term relationships.
Have a reassuring and trustworthy personality
Warmth and dependability are desirable qualities in both men and women, especially for people who are looking for long-term partners. These qualities make people feel secure and close and can even predict marital bliss.
Attraction is highly individual, to people who are gay, straight, bisexual, or of any other orientation.
“Everyone’s attractions are unique and highly personal because everyone experiences different levels of sexual and romantic attraction in different ways,” Ogle said.
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